we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I wish i was in the wii world.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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