i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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