yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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