I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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