end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
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