I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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