I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
