I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
