next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
