i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
