Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
