dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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