Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
