I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
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