so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
