sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
