I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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