I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I just found a bag of teeth...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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