I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
