I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
