She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
