Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
