In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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