Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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