I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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