There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
