I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Drunk is a universal language darling
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