Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
