I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
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