I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
