I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
