Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
