All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
