Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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