is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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