I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
