I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just forgot I was standing up.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
