the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
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