if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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