You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
