If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
