umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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