Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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