I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
