So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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