I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
