I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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