Too much gin, very little bucket
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
