in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
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