matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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