I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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